Hammered for Hil

The better half, somewhat sleep-deprived, rose from the conjugal bed to ask whether I was hammered. I was not.

She wondered if I might be intentionally killing a few brain cells on behalf of a dear friend who is undoubtedly licking undeserved wounds tonight. Nope.

If I were to be utilizing Lynchburg, Tennessee's finest export to effect this evening, it would be for a stranger, the senator from Chappaqua, Hillary Rodham Clinton.

I've often said "I had one mother, I have one sister, one wife, and one daughter. I AM a feminist."

The people whose respect I seek most earnestly voted for Mrs. Clinton, as did I. Alas, barring an unprecedented event, Mrs. Clinton will not have the opportunity to carry my hopes forward to lead this country.

Much to my chagrin, many others whose opinions I respect had rejected Mrs. Clinton as an appropriate standard-bearer. It has been painful to watch and to experience many of my friends ally themselves with Mr. Obama, the senator from Illinois.

I've told more than a few of my closest friends of my pain. In no other experience of my life have I felt so constricted in expressing my opinions. Political discussions can, so often, devolve into interpersonal conflict, and that is something that I deeply wished to avoid. Frankly, the implicit argument (and you'll have to admit it occurred to you) is that the supporter of the "other" is less perceptive, nay, even unrealistic and naive.

Such thoughts, which I honestly do not harbor, are not ones that anyone might express without considering it as an act that is the opposite of respect and friendship. I have refrained from discussing my preferences, for the most part, out of respect for my friends, most of whom bought wholeheartedly into the Obama mystique.

On a policy basis, Hillary was approximately my fifth choice for the Democratic nomination. But Mr. Obama was about my tenth choice.

With all respect, I never saw in Barack Obama the things my friends saw. I do not believe that he is, in any way, "different." On explicit policy matters, I see nothing that differentiates him. On personality, or in his much-touted eloquence and style, I just never got it.

Admittedly, I applaud myself as being more astute. I have never bought into a politician as being something special. Rather, any admiration I might have had for politicians stemmed from my own inability to adopt the techniques necessary to win election.

My friends, Mr. Obama is not special. He is not different. I applaud the fact that he "calls" for a new kind of politics, but I will likewise ask you to confess that he has not conducted his campaign, except for the occasional rhetoric, in any way that can be called "new."

I told several people in the past ten days how Mr. Obama could have earned my support and my vote. To be brief, it would have been for him to ACTUALLY offer a transcendant vision and to say "This I Believe, and if you don't like it, don't vote for me."

He did not. That is not a disqualifying event. It simply was my own personal standard for converting my loyalty from Mrs. Clinton to Mr. Obama.

I was personally ridiculed for claiming from my earliest incarnations in these environs my support (which prevails) for Al Gore. When the roll is called up yonder, I'll still be proud to have asserted that support. After all, he was elected as our 43rd Commander in Chief.

Today is the day for Gore men and women to declare "never again." On to November. Avenge the travesty of 2000.

And as for that "dear friend" on whose behalf my bride believed I might damage myself, I will not forget what was done to you. Nor will I forgive the parties that wrought it. That's all I can do right now. But the vision you offered and the integrity with which you offered it will not be forgotten in this household, and I will remember May 6, 2008, as a singular moment that defined them as unworthy of my support.

Where that leaves me, I can't say. But suffice it to be said that at long last, I understand what it means to be an "Independent."

P.S. If I were "doing my job," this posting would have addressed the remarkable events of Monday night. While Mrs. Clinton, and Hizzoner, were regaling a crowd at the fire hall on Spring Street, I witnessed what was perhaps the most important city council meeting since I arrived in this city. If any event ever said to me that "working within the system" was futile, that was it. Of course, I believe my insight to be unique and unrecognized. But for New Albany, May 5, 2008 may turn out to be a far more momentous evening than was the 2008 primary.